This morning, just like every morning, I stumbled to my coffee pot to prepare a large carafe of caffeine.  I laid my head on the counter for seven minutes as it brewed, poured myself a large cup, threw in a couple heaping spoons of hot cocoa mix, and walked back to my computer to peruse my social media – the only thing I can handle before at least two cups of my brown solace.  The first thing I read went something like this, “I was late for work again, FML.”

“FML.”  Really?  Over being late you’re going to tell the universe to F*)# your life?  I’ve been seeing this phrase a lot lately and I have to say I take serious issue with it.  I’m just fine with a bit of WTF? I WTF? all over the place.  But IMHO saying FML is causing some serious damage when our thoughts create our reality.

What’s worse is that this little code phrase is usually uttered over the most trivial things.  “I got a speeding ticket, FML,” or, “It’s raining, FML,”  Or… “my pinkie toe is too small to paint, FML.” There’s even a website called FmyLife.com.  A place where people tell the universe to royally screw their lives every day because they forgot to buy milk or they dropped their razor in the shower.

Admittedly, some of these are funny: “Today, I brought my son to work with me. I wasn’t paying attention until I heard my boss tell me to get my child. Turns out my sneaky son likes to take my tampons and play the drums with them on my boss’s desk… during a meeting. FML.” These little snippets are all categorized under the heading, “I agree, your life sucks.”  Personally I don’t think I’d want to jinx my future existence over a few plastic tampon applicators.  In a related incident I did something similar as a toddler during one of my mom’s dinner parties.  I came out with ten Tampax cardboard applicators fixed over my fingers and asked her guests to, “look at my bootiful fingernails.”  Somehow I don’t imagine my mom saying FML over it, and TG (Thank God) because her life might have turned out a whole lot different.

Do you suppose these folks think the universe doesn’t understand this coded language?  Do they think they’re being sneaky?  I don’t think so.  I imagine, on any given day, when you start out with a small FML you end up having a whole lot of instances where that acronym might actually apply.  And I must say I’d hate to meet the person who first coined that little tidbit as I imagine there’s a MSC (Major Shit Cloud) floating above his/her head.

There is, however, a website I’d rather visit regularly.  It’s called LmyLife.com.  Here’s a site I can get behind with it’s tag line, “Because life is awesome.”  That’s the kind of message I want to send out to a Universe that is listening intently.

I have yet to wrap my head around all of these new fangled abbreviations.  ”FTW” – with all it’s ambiguity can either mean, “For the win” or “F(#^ the World.”  Which would you rather say?  I’d prefer the former.  In fact, after writing this article, I feel the need to wash my brain out with soap, just in case.